7个技巧立刻提升沟通能力( 三 )

用一个接一个的问题轰炸对方
after question after question, and this can
这会让人特别不舒服
be extremely uncomfortable.
问个不停的结果就是
The issue with asking too many questions is
它使得对话变得完全单向
that it makes the conversation very one sided.
提问时你没有分享关于你的任何信息
When you ask a question you’re not sharing any information about yourself.
而你一直在查问对方的信息
All you’re doing is demanding information from the other person.
这就是产生不适感的症结所在
This is where that uncomfortable feeling comes from.
此时需要建立一种联系
There’s a lack of connection that is being built.
你得非常愿意分享有关你自己的东西
You want to be sharing information about yourself as much
只有这样你才能够和别人建立融洽的关系
as possible so that you can build rapport.
建立一种联系吧
Build a connection.
第四个技巧用陈述句不要用问句
Tip#4 is to use statements instead of questions.
做陈述就是分享有关你自己的信息
When you make statements you share information about yourself.
所以下次和好朋友或者死党一起逛街的时候
Pay attention to the next time you hang out
你就要注意这些
with your closest friends or buddies.
你会发现绝大多数的对话都是陈述句
You’ll notice that the majority of the conversation is with statements.
偶尔对话中会自然而然地抛出问句
Once in a while a question is thrown
但是
in as a natural step in the conversation, but the
绝大多数对话全由陈述句组成
large majority will be all statements.
下面是许多不同类型的陈述句
Now there are a lot of different types of statements,
我会重点讲一下主要的那几个
and I’ll cover the main ones.
我们有故事观点型陈述
We have the story opinion statement.
基本上这种陈述就是讲述一个小故事
Basically a statement that tells a small story
或者表述你对某事的观点
or shows your opinion on something.
下面是一个问句的例子
Here is an example of a question.
你害怕什么？
What are you scared of?
这里有一个用故事陈述句代替问句的例子
Here is an example of the story statement being used to replace this question.
我以前很怕黑
I used to be terrified of the dark.
在我小时候我会把头埋在被子下面睡觉
When I was a kid, I would sleep with my head under the covers
这样就不会被魔鬼和妖怪找到了
to hide from all the monsters and ghosts.
注意这个问句完全没有提到你自己
Notice how the question shares nothing about yourself.
除了回答你的问题
It doesn’t really give the other person
对方实际上并没有可延伸的话题来谈
a topic to jump to besides answering your question.
因此你的问句仅仅给了他们一个可谈的话题
So your only really giving them one thing to talk about.
另一方面
On the other hand,
故事陈述不仅分享了信息
the story statement shares information while it also gives the other
还给对方机会讨论不同的话题
person opportunities to talk about different topics.
你为他们提供了不同的引申素材
You’re giving them different things to thread off of.
他们可以谈谈他们怕不怕黑
They can talk about whether or not they’re scared of the dark.
还可以谈他们小时候常做什么事
They can talk about things they used to do when they were a kid.
甚至他们还能谈点鬼故事