笑死人的儿童英语笑话锦集( 三 )

Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学， “谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
Lost Purse 丢失的钱包
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。”
“没错，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道， “上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。”
I know who god is 我知道上帝是谁了
A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?
The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.
The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?
The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.
The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and
straight.
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?
儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人？
妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人！
儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？
妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人！
儿子：哦。我知道了，上帝是迈克尔•杰克逊！
His Fault 他的错
Billy: Mother, Bobby poke a window.
Mother: How did he do it?
Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.
比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。
妈妈：他怎么打的？
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。
儿童英语笑话四
Tell a lie
Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"
Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."
Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."
Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"
妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？”
维克多：“我要那只最大的。”
妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。”
维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？”
I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论
Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?
It's round, answered Gerald.
How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.
All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!
杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？
是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。
你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。
好吧，那它是方的，学生回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。
Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?