笑死人的儿童英语笑话锦集

培养孩子智商的同时，也要注意培养情商。让孩子从小有点幽默感，其实也是情商培养的一种方法。笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。
幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!
妈妈育儿网小编这里准备了几个最适合儿童的英语幽默小笑话，中英双版，一起去看看吧！
儿童英语笑话一
一天课上，老师要同学们以如果我是一个经理为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
我在等我的秘书。那孩子答道。
Big hands 大手
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
老师：如果我左手上有7个桔子，右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么？
学生：大手。
一场特殊的足球比赛
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”
“为什么它会让你迟到呢？”老师问道。
“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。
All Right 没关系
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.
I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.
我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:
在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反) 。啊噢，意识到犯了错误，我说。我刚才拐弯是违章的。
我想那没关系的，女儿回答说：我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。
Mushroom and Toadstool 蘑菇与毒蕈
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool（毒菌） ?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢？
年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇
儿童英语笑话二
Like father, like son 有其父必有其子
Son: Papa, what's the meaning of " Like father, like son"?
Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?
儿子：爸爸， “有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀？
父亲：狗崽子，你在学校又干什么见不得人的事啦？
They're Busy 他们很忙
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
"May I speak to your parents? "
"They're busy. "
"Oh. Is anybody else there? "
"The police. "
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy. "
"Oh. Is anybody else there? "
"The firemen. "
"Can I speak to them? "
"They're busy. "